It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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