Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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