I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
is that a dick in a sweater?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
