absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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