Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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