Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
