Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so let's talk penis.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
