You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
