Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
