she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
