Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
