i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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