do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
