Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
