You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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