Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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