what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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