What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
