I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize