of course. lets lasso hookers.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
