does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize