who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
