At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
