THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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