thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
my liver is dry heaving
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize