haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
