oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
