any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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