North Korea, Best Korea!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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