was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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