My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize