you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
