wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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