Non-Jews are for practice
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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