Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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