He is an equal opportunity slut.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
