Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
