I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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