Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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