OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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