Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize