This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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