Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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