i think i scared a bird with my dick
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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