ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
