Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize