I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
