I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
