OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
What drink are we having for lunch?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
