:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
should my penis look like a turkey
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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