id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
