just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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