Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize