her vagine was all disorganized.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
