Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
my nose is crying tears of wow.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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