whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
