It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
