a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
