I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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