I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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