two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
