I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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