Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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