He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
